Jiglu: Farmtalking: Discussion: Communication

Originally from: Frances Fish

Dear Jane, resorting to using Microsoft to contact you. Chat-line will not let me on,John says phone also acting up the other night (makes you think doesn't it ?)Perhaps I should not write letters about the naughtiness of the RCVS ?

Frances
P.S. Please use it if you want to

Originally from: Mike Meredith

Dear Frances, Coleen and Pat ("Looking in other direction" postings),

In personal development training we are familiar with what we call the "Not being heard" drama.

My first encounter with this was a personal one – leaving a job where I was "Not being heard" only to find myself in a new job where I was also "Not being heard"! And as if that was not enough I also found myself also in a couple of leisure groups where I was also "Not being heard" AND came to painfully realise that "Not being heard" was actually a lifelong pattern stretching back to my childhood!

With the aid of cognitive therapy training which I undertook at that time, I came to realise that actually LIFE was trying to tell ME something and was "NOT BEING HEARD".

Life was telling me that I could usefully look at the why, how and where of my communications – a rather embarrassing bit of feedback for someone who had taught communication skills for many years!

The only long-term solution to these uncomfortable life patterns is to track them back to the early-life wounds which set them up, and change that programming (conditioning) and replace it with more effective training.

In the meantime here are 3 quick tips that have worked well for me...

1. "Never try to teach a pig to sing – it wastes your time and annoys the pig"

2. "If you wrestle with a pig you'll both get dirty and only a pig will find this rewarding"

(you can see that my years of being involved in pig health work where not entirely wasted!)

3. "If you can bear to hear the truths you've spoken, twisted by twisted by rogues to make a trap for fools, or watch the things you gave your life to broken, and stoop and build them up with wornout tools...

...Yours is the earth and everything that's in it!"

(paraphrased from Rudyard Kipling's "If")

What did Kipling mean? What had he learned?

I believe that he had become aware of the tremendous creative power of suffering. Communication Stress is after all just "energy" albeit in a rather uncomfortable form.

As physicists know, energy is indestructible, it can only go round and round or be transformed from one format to another (even into solid material things). The stress of suffering can be transformed into personal growth (skill, wisdom, experience), creative ideas and solutions and the healing of old wounds (which is where I began this message).

Whether you prefer your suffering to go round and round, or prefer to transform it into something else – have a great day!

Mike
www.stress-counselling.co.uk

Originally from: Frances Fish

Dear Mike, sorry to disappoint you but I actually DID mean exactly what I wrote. I could not get in touch with Jane. NOTHING spiritual about it. Nothing to do with self-awareness or anything else. Are you not getting a bit carried away trying to sort us all out, emotionally, spiritualy,whatever. We all have our own way of dealing with things, I do not presume to tell you how to cope with the trauma of last year. I do not want to have a pop at you. I would like to afford you the restraint and compassion that was denied so many of us last year, I realise that you were probably hurt , confused and vulnerable as were many others. Please do not try to see things that are truly not there ? Frances.

Originally from: Mike Meredith

May I respectfully send a hug?

Thanks Mary – all hugs gratefully received.

but one sentence that has been ringing and ringing in my head over the last
few days is "you create your life, you don't discover it."
And I love that Kipling quotation from your last message.

Here is another (source unknown):

"If we do things we have always done them, we will get the results we have always got"

For Frances and others, who are getting sufficient results already... Well done! – Keep up the good work (and feel free to ignore my postings)

For everyone else – do let us know us you if you take any risks and live dangerously enough to create some new adventures!

Regards
Mike

Originally from: Mary Critchley

Dear Mike

You are a marvel.

You are saying the things that I need to hear and be reminded of – right now -at this moment. I am having a particularly sad time and am determined not to go droopy. I don't fancy myself in the role of victim of life (and death)

I don't much care for the trendy "life skills" short-cut new-agey things – but one sentence that has been ringing and ringing in my head over the last few days is "you create your life, you don't discover it."

And I love that Kipling quotation from your last message.

May I respectfully send a hug?

Mary

----- Original Message -----
From: ...
Originally from: <...>
To: <...>
Sent: Thursday, August 29, 2002 1:57 PM
Subject: [farmtalking] RE: Communication
Dear Frances, Coleen and Pat ("Looking in other direction" postings),
In personal development training we are familiar with what we call the
"Not being heard" drama.

My first encounter with this was a personal one – leaving a job where I
was "Not being heard" only to find myself in a new job where I was also "Not being heard"! And as if that was not enough I also found myself also in a couple of leisure groups where I was also "Not being heard" AND came to painfully realise that "Not being heard" was actually a lifelong pattern stretching back to my childhood!

With the aid of cognitive therapy training which I undertook at that time,
I came to realise that actually LIFE was trying to tell ME something and was "NOT BEING HEARD".

Life was telling me that I could usefully look at the why, how and where
of my communications – a rather embarrassing bit of feedback for someone who had taught communication skills for many years!

The only long-term solution to these uncomfortable life patterns is to
track them back to the early-life wounds which set them up, and change that programming (conditioning) and replace it with more effective training.

In the meantime here are 3 quick tips that have worked well for me...
1. "Never try to teach a pig to sing – it wastes your time and annoys the
pig"

2. "If you wrestle with a pig you'll both get dirty and only a pig will
find this rewarding"

(you can see that my years of being involved in pig health work where not
entirely wasted!)
3. "If you can bear to hear the truths you've spoken, twisted by twisted
by rogues to make a trap for fools, or watch the things you gave your life to broken, and stoop and build them up with wornout tools...

...Yours is the earth and everything that's in it!"
(paraphrased from Rudyard Kipling's "If")
What did Kipling mean? What had he learned?
I believe that he had become aware of the tremendous creative power of
suffering.
Communication Stress is after all just "energy" albeit in a rather
uncomfortable form.

As physicists know, energy is indestructible, it can only go round and
round or be transformed from one format to another (even into solid material things). The stress of suffering can be transformed into personal growth (skill, wisdom, experience), creative ideas and solutions and the healing of old wounds (which is where I began this message).

Whether you prefer your suffering to go round and round, or prefer to
transform it into something else – have a great day!

Mike
www.stress-counselling.co.uk
--
If you want to share pictures, use the calendar, or start a vote
visit http://www.smartgroups.com/groups/farmtalking
To leave the group, email: ...

Originally from: Farmtalking

Thanks Mike! – As regards taking risks – I rather think I do so every day – it's become a way of life for me and amazingly, thus far, I've survived! (Although at times perhaps, 'only just' and 'by the skin of my teeth' and not without the help of my friends on frequent occasions!)

Originally from: Joyce

Hi Mike
LOLOLOL!

Author wrote:
The light side of communication
-------------------------------

I have also been reading the thread and find it illuminating! and a reminder of the 'Life Training' weekend I attended last year when I felt completely overwhelmed by my emotions re the FMD. Now a cheeky question....do you remember it all in your own life????? Love,
Joyce

Originally from: Mike Meredith

The light side of communication

A friend has just sent me these quotes from aircraft maintenance log entries showing the problems reported by pilots (P) and solutions recorded by mechanics (S).

with the comment...

Never let it be said that aircraft maintenance crews lack a sense of humour! [or indeed any of us – Mike]

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: No.2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No.2 propeller seepage normal. Nos.1, 3 & 4 propellers lack normal
seepage.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!

P: OFF inoperative.
S: OFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
[The pilot meant 'engine misfiring'.]

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

Originally from: coleen

Dear Mike, Mary, Jane, and all

I can cope with the not be heard, just. I know in my heart what is right and what is wrong – I cannot make others see or listen. Their wake up call has to come from within. What I really struggle with is the lack of compassion and the sheer greed of people. To be a nice caring person today, is to be dumped on and taken advantage of. When I look around (lets take MP's etc) the more uncaring you can be, the better you succeed. Is that what life teaches us Mike? Good people get trodden on – the bad climb higer up that ladder.

I want to live my life, poking my nose into no one's business, look after my animals, and just be left to do what I want to do. Sadly, Mike these things are fast slipping away. I do not want the earth, heaven or stars – just my little World right here where I am now. Is that so very wrong?

Coleen

Author wrote:
Dear Frances, Coleen and Pat ("Looking in other direction" postings),
In personal development training we are familiar with what we call the "Not being heard" drama.
My first encounter with this was a personal one – leaving a job where I was "Not being heard" only to find myself in a new job where I was also "Not being heard"! And as if that was not enough I also found myself also in a couple of leisure groups where I was also "Not being heard" AND came to painfully realise that "Not being heard" was actually a lifelong pattern stretching back to my childhood!
With the aid of cognitive therapy training which I undertook at that time, I came to realise that actually LIFE was trying to tell ME something and was "NOT BEING HEARD".
Life was telling me that I could usefully look at the why, how and where of my communications – a rather embarrassing bit of feedback for someone who had taught communication skills for many years!
The only long-term solution to these uncomfortable life patterns is to track them back to the early-life wounds which set them up, and change that programming (conditioning) and replace it with more effective training.
In the meantime here are 3 quick tips that have worked well for me...
1. "Never try to teach a pig to sing – it wastes your time and annoys the pig"
2. "If you wrestle with a pig you'll both get dirty and only a pig will find this rewarding"
(you can see that my years of being involved in pig health work where not entirely wasted!)
3. "If you can bear to hear the truths you've spoken, twisted by twisted by rogues to make a trap for fools, or watch the things you gave your life to broken, and stoop and build them up with wornout tools...
...Yours is the earth and everything that's in it!"
(paraphrased from Rudyard Kipling's "If")
What did Kipling mean? What had he learned?
I believe that he had become aware of the tremendous creative power of suffering.
Communication Stress is after all just "energy" albeit in a rather uncomfortable form.
As physicists know, energy is indestructible, it can only go round and round or be transformed from one format to another (even into solid material things). The stress of suffering can be transformed into personal growth (skill, wisdom, experience), creative ideas and solutions and the healing of old wounds (which is where I began this message).
Whether you prefer your suffering to go round and round, or prefer to transform it into something else – have a great day!
Mike
www.stress-counselling.co.uk

Originally from: Farmtalking

Hi Coleen –

It is people like you who in spite of everything, all the disappointments, worries and fears that surround us, still continue to support others when they're in trouble, be they human or animal.

Don't you see that in doing so, you are achieving the world you want by showing such kindness compassion and care? It may take time and may not be immediately obvious but your contribution is not without effect or unnoticed.

Author wrote:
Dear Mike, Mary, Jane, and all
I can cope with the not be heard, just. I know in my heart what is right and what is wrong – I cannot make others see or listen. Their wake up call has to come from within. What I really struggle with is the lack of compassion and the sheer greed of people. To be a nice caring person today, is to be dumped on and taken advantage of. When I look around (lets take MP's etc) the more uncaring you can be, the better you succeed. Is that what life teaches us Mike? Good people get trodden on – the bad climb higer up that ladder.
I want to live my life, poking my nose into no one's business, look after my animals, and just be left to do what I want to do. Sadly, Mike these things are fast slipping away. I do not want the earth, heaven or stars – just my little World right here where I am now. Is that so very wrong?
Coleen
Author wrote:
Dear Frances, Coleen and Pat ("Looking in other direction" postings),
In personal development training we are familiar with what we call the "Not being heard" drama.
My first encounter with this was a personal one – leaving a job where I was "Not being heard" only to find myself in a new job where I was also "Not being heard"! And as if that was not enough I also found myself also in a couple of leisure groups where I was also "Not being heard" AND came to painfully realise that "Not being heard" was actually a lifelong pattern stretching back to my childhood!
With the aid of cognitive therapy training which I undertook at that time, I came to realise that actually LIFE was trying to tell ME something and was "NOT BEING HEARD".
Life was telling me that I could usefully look at the why, how and where of my communications – a rather embarrassing bit of feedback for someone who had taught communication skills for many years!
The only long-term solution to these uncomfortable life patterns is to track them back to the early-life wounds which set them up, and change that programming (conditioning) and replace it with more effective training.
In the meantime here are 3 quick tips that have worked well for me...
1. "Never try to teach a pig to sing – it wastes your time and annoys the pig"
2. "If you wrestle with a pig you'll both get dirty and only a pig will find this rewarding"
(you can see that my years of being involved in pig health work where not entirely wasted!)
3. "If you can bear to hear the truths you've spoken, twisted by twisted by rogues to make a trap for fools, or watch the things you gave your life to broken, and stoop and build them up with wornout tools...
...Yours is the earth and everything that's in it!"
(paraphrased from Rudyard Kipling's "If")
What did Kipling mean? What had he learned?
I believe that he had become aware of the tremendous creative power of suffering.
Communication Stress is after all just "energy" albeit in a rather uncomfortable form.
As physicists know, energy is indestructible, it can only go round and round or be transformed from one format to another (even into solid material things). The stress of suffering can be transformed into personal growth (skill, wisdom, experience), creative ideas and solutions and the healing of old wounds (which is where I began this message).
Whether you prefer your suffering to go round and round, or prefer to transform it into something else – have a great day!
Mike
www.stress-counselling.co.uk