Originally from: Burkie
                        
Dear Mona: Don't take this wrong, please. I am being as sarcastic – call it Kansas Hick Sarcasm – as I can be! Please take this only partially-serious. No innuendo...just me. Just more than a little bit ornery, though. Even Mary at Warmwell, says so. I do mean well. If I hope to accomplish anything with this Satire , it’s that no one will ever think about BSE in the UK , without thinking about SEX, ever again! Gotta push the subconscious limits, you know, eh?

BSE stands for the BRITISH SEX ERADICATION program! You see some British scientists have finally figured out that having SEX leads to potential world-wide disease epidemics. As they are really "environmentalists at heart," they should never be criticized for their work...as they are going to "Save those that remain, to all be healthy, wealthy and wise!"

They've decided all diseases are ultimately a result of having too much SEX in all the species....human and ovine and bovine and swine, ad infinitum.

So now they've come up with BSE. The British Sex Eradication experiment! Rather than be straight with all of us...they like to twist their British selves around to insert their super-humor by coming up with the acronymn BSE, so naming their GREAT EXPERIMENT....by ridding you all of your sheep and cattle....They hypothesized....all other human diseases could be reduced, thus reducing health care needs and furthering the general health and welfare of those remaining scientists to say..."SEE, We told you so!" That’s why they live in their sterilized laboratories. No more condoms in the toilet, plugging things up. None of those other "nesessary feminine-hygiene appurtances stuffing the sewage treatment plant. Better environment and lowered costs. Save the trees and rubber plantations! No more waste of paper arguing about this and that."

But, in spite of their efforts, the human populations continued to Grow!" Even if on a veggie diet!

"Corn, peas and beans, lettuce, cucumbers and 'maters are just too good for 'em...gotta screw that up, too! Get that squash outta here!" "Get the GM boys over here," they screamed.

"Somebody get rid of that Green Giant!"

"Oh, sh.t. Something's WRONG, they HOLLERED! "That damn Genie in the Bottle lied to us!"

"WE gotta get all this Sex stopped!"

"Get in that lab of yours and get the right virus, you idiots!"
was the Order from the Hierarchy from their Palatially-Insulated Castles in Brussels and London and Washington and Canberra and Tokyo, Buenos Aires, BeijiIng, and Sao Paulo.

"Find one that stops all this Human SEX!"

"All this SEX has to STOP!"

And so the scientists did. The test was done on the African continent...overpopulated and underfed....basically perceived by the British Wizards in their White Coats as an expendable population to run their tests on humanity...human guinea pigs! Let’s see, Darwin was British, wasn’t he?

"Let's see what this little ole HIV virus does to 'em?" they said. So they called the Genie in and gave him a bottle of HIV virus to let loose in the middle of Africa.

"Who-ee, can you believe those results?!!!" They Said.

The BSE experiment worked....too well. If people didn't die of AIDS in Africa...the grave-diggers died from over-exhaustion, as the scientists insured they were under-fed and auto-immune-deficient.
 
Only trouble is...some of them darn Africans came up here and got busy. Brought HIV home to these scientists own back yards. Somehow, they managed to escape the Scientific Cordon and left scientifically-imposed Hells of Africa.

"Oh, now we've gotta get that Genie back in the darn bottle," they said. "He's over-done what we wanted him to!"

Oh, Worries and Hand-wringing, pleadings to the Heirarchy...headaches, ulcers, and heart palpations increased in their own scientific communities...Paranoia set in.

"We've gone and done it now," they said.

"What are we gonna do? they asked.

"Well, figure out a name for some new bug," someone said.

"Oh, that's a good idea," another stated.

"Let's call it a prion." Nobody knows what that means....but we can sure starve this all out somehow or other.

"That'll take care of everything," The Boss replied.

And so it came to pass. No more sex. No more food. No more disease. No more people having too much sex and eating too much food. No more obesity and diabetes. No more smoking. No more abortions, still-births or premies. Natural resources replenished.

Energy savings. Human Populations reduced.

And The Earth regained its own sustainability.

A nice, clean, disease-free environment for the survivors…pollution-free…Ozone-free….Nirvana.

"Eureka! We were 'right' all along." "We're the real environmental protectors, after all."

At least Grandpa Scientist Thus-and-Such was! What a pioneer!
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Like I said to begin with....please take this in the sense it was written....a darn ornery Kansan making fun of this whole deal. Not intended to hurt any one group of people anywhere in today's world or any one individual at all.

But the next time I see "B – S – E"....well, who knows what my subconscious does? This is Burkie Humor.

All the best,

Burkie in Kansas

P.S. Please keep sharing the good information you share with us, Mona.